Discover the transformative benefits of Active Recovery through group activities and family support at Purple Recovery. Start your journey to a healthier, happier life now.
Purple Treatment, a premier addiction recovery center based in Atlanta, Georgia, stands out from other recovery houses in Atlanta due to our unique approach to long-term addiction recovery. Our focus isn't just on helping individuals recover from substance abuse, but also on building a supportive community that aids in maintaining sobriety long-term.
Never a better case for EPIC Trek
On Friday, May 10, I woke up to a text message from Kody Smith asking me if I wanted to fill a spot on a mountaineering trip to Mount Rainier. Filled with excuses, like most mornings, I said that I didn’t think I could afford it right now and that I was supposed to be out of town that week anyway. Once I got up and started moving around, I wrestled with the idea in my head.
Gratitude is such a big part of my life now, and I am forever grateful to Brett, Joel, Adam, and Miss Donna for their wonderful, personal, and professional contributions to keeping the Purple Power and my son alive. Together with these other 12-step programs, Purple is saving young men’s lives. I just wish there were Purple’s everywhere.
Purple has been around for just over 16 years. Over the course of those years, we have had the great pleasure of serving men and their families in finding recovery. It is an incredible feeling to be able to bring light back into the lives of these families that have been in the dark for so long. Many of you remember what that felt like and the long journey of recovery.
If you’re feeling scared or uncertain- practice gratitude. If you feel like you’re beating your head against a wall- practice gratitude. Gratitude works like magic – but not if you leave it unused in your bucket. In the month of November, I invite you to practice the gift of daily gratitude. With gratitude, you can climb the mountain of serenity. Start the process of turning today’s pain, into tomorrow’s joy.
Honestly examining our thoughts and our beliefs will unlock the door to peace, freedom and happiness. How willing are you?
One thing I struggled with myself and often hear from families, is “What Do I Say”? Typically, the emotion of fear has us worried that we’ll say the wrong thing and the situation will only worsen or jeopardize the client’s recovery.
Climbing a mountain trail leaves us with two choices: reach the destination or turn around. Reaching our destination requires the perseverance of putting one foot in front of the other. Just like when life gets tough, we must try to remember that all we can do is keep pushing forward.
In what way am I maladjusted to life? Have I always been this way? Was I born this way? Or did I become this way because of the world around me? Was it something that happened to me or how I reacted to it? Was it external or internal?
Initially, family members are often divided in accepting the reality of the situation when faced with a loved one's addiction and share differences of opinion as to what the solution is to the problem. Some family members can be more objective and they clearly see the reality of a serious problem. Others are way too emotionally involved to be able to see the problem as clearly. However, division among the family blocks unity, so you must learn to stand united.
I became overwhelmed with gratitude. I had built friendships stronger than ever before and I had learned to love myself, flaws and all. I began to have trouble breathing and tears swelled my eyes. I looked at my friend and we both hugged each other. God taught me a lesson that day. That with hard work, I can do anything.
My gut ached during my son’s sophomore year in college. Our son had become distant. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew something was wrong. He “lost” countless phones, was always out of money, and wouldn’t tell us about his grades. Sounds like a typical immature sophomore boy in college, right? My gut knew differently.
Community is defined as a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common; a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
Over the years, I have learned that it's a daily process, where some days will be better than others. Now, I don't see much of my old companion any more. I use my new tools to keep him away. I don't miss him, either.
Time and again, family members come into Purple seeking help for a client whose life has spiraled out of control and has put tremendous stress and pressure on the family. These tired, weary and scared families typically convey the same general message, "We've tried everything and nothing has worked, so it's time for something to change". Without knowing anything different, the family refers to the client as that "something" that needs changing; not realizing that they too need to change.
While it is true that the client will need to work hard to change his life, the reality is family members need to work also to embrace the process of change. Why? You
see, an old adage, "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes" is often used to describe families that can't seem to get off the roller coaster ride that the addictive behavior of someone they love has put them on. They plunge forward with the false belief that "one more try and I'll get control of this situation", eventually leaving them more exhausted, frustrated, hopeless and angry. They know they need to get off the roller coaster, but simply do not know how.
"As you know, I almost did not attend Purple Family Weekend. My son seemed to be progressing well in his transition from Purple, so I didn’t “need” to go to any kind of family rehab workshop. But you called me to follow up and just your personal invitation made me change my mind and I decided Wednesday night before the weekend to attend.
Then the following day, I was told that my son had relapsed and that things were not good. So I attended the Family Workshop and it was a great day. I learned more that day of how to work on ME, and reminders that I need to do all I can do to help me so that I can better help my son in his addiction. The support of everyone there understanding what I was dealing with in his relapse was comforting, supportive, and helpful. I heard parents talking about how they literally acted out lifting their child to God during the middle of the night, how they repeated the Serenity Prayer over-and-over in the middle of the night in order to deal with the worry of not knowing if your loved one was going to live thru this addiction. One of the leaders made a point about going to meetings to “add to the bank” so when times do get tough you have that to pull from.
Little did I know that I would need ALL of this and more in a few short hours. I headed to see my son after the meeting hoping to get him to agree to go to Detox as I heard he was doing heroin. When I got to his house, he would not come out and see me because he was so messed up and said he would go to detox on Sunday. I chose to wait in a nearby hotel and that night was filled with chaos and phone calls as I received hourly updates to all the crazy crap they were doing at the house. They were getting high, fighting, just all kinds of stuff I was hearing that was intensifying the anxiety and worry. I wasn’t asking for the updates, I was just getting pulled into the chaos. Upon hearing that they were leaving to acquire more drugs, I called the police and gave a description of his car hoping to have them arrested so they can’t hurt someone else or themselves. After the call to the police, you sit and wait. That is when your brain goes crazy and sure all the parents know this feeling.
SO I thought about our family workshop meeting and I used some of the things I had heard that day. I literally acted out on holding him up to God and giving him to God, I said the Serenity prayer over and over and these things did help me calm down. I couldn’t go to sleep, but I wasn’t going crazy. At about 3 AM, I get a call from my son had overdosed on heroin and he was in an ambulance- not breathing. I asked his roommate if I came to the house, would he please drive me to the hospital because I couldn’t go down there by myself if he was dead? On the way, I got a call from a girl that said he was breathing and was alive. My son had received 3 units of Narcan from the paramedics to save his life. He had stopped breathing and they did CPR on him until the ambulance arrived. After being released from the hospital, he entered a detox facility and eventually entered a 30 -day program before returning to Purple.
I just wanted to share how much the Family Weekend helped me, how much the Purple staff, clients, parents and alumni helped me during all this. One of the clients who has only been at Purple for a month helped me drive my son’s car back from downtown Atlanta and was so helpful and supportive. Thank you for all that you do and I know we don’t understand all the work that goes on to host a Family Workshop. I can only tell you that it made a huge difference in my life to help me cope with something that I hope no one ever has to go through.
And for parents like me that not sure if you should attend or if you “need” to attend, you make a huge difference as well. You may say something like you did on that day that can really help someone in need. SO I encourage all parents to continue taking time to attend these workshops because you not only bank health for yourself, but you help others at the same time! We continue to need your prayers and thoughts and support and I am here for anyone that I might can help in any way!!”
Last May, Campbell Manning of Hope for Families, shared her own story of dealing with her sons' addictions and she introduced the phrase "Tag You're It!" as the premise for the way parents or other family members approach the shifting of responsibility to others, especially children. Just like the childhood game, one person is "it" and he or she does his or her best to tag another participant, who then becomes the new "it." As you know, no one wants to be "it" for long, so they quickly seek to tag someone else to release the responsibility.
Oftentimes, the parent or loved one of an addict becomes the "IT" and soon finds their hands tied behind their backs, accepting all responsibility for the addictive behavior, mostly to fix it or control it.
In Campbell's experience as a mother and addiction counselor, declaring "Tag You're It" is crucial to stopping the cycle of enabling, rescuing, blaming, and codependency. Symbolically, it's time to "tag you're it" by passing on the responsibility to the addict.
Instead of reacting, take action. Are you one who says your phone is always ringing with requests, complaints, or blaming? "Tag You're It!" by setting limits and boundaries. Are you still on the emotional roller coaster of codependency? "Tag You're It" by helping the addict move toward recovery. Remember,it gets better ONLY when the addict wants it, regardless of how much the family may long for the changes. Look at your role - Are you standing in the way? Do you find it extremely painful to watch the addict struggle even though progress is being made? "Tag You're It" by refusing to relieve the pain by enabling.
Recovery begins when the addict takes responsibility for their situation and decides to improve things. For family members, recovery begins when you choose to accept the powerlessness over the disease of addiction.
"Tag You're It" simply means releasing someone else's responsibility, which is essential to allowing that person to grow and change.
What are you MORE of or LESS of after being on this journey of recovery?
In recovery, we seek more meaningful relationships and spend less time with those who are stuck on frivolous things of little importance. We become much more accepting and less judgmental. We become more willing to ask for help and listen to what others are saying and less likely to try to fix or control. On our journeys, we seek to find serenity and happiness even though someone we love may be suffering. We become more focused on our recovery and Less focused on someone else's.
Applying the slogan "Let it begin with ME" is about being responsible for our own actions and stop focusing so intently on what those around us say, do, feel, and instead put the focus on ourselves. In your own quiet time, what would you say that you are MORE of or LESS of? Take some time to reflect on that and write it down to look back on later in your own journey.
3 questions about gratitude:
What surprised you today? What inspired you today? What touched your heart today? We encourage you to take time to reflect on questions to bring the focus back on those things YOU can control. Lastly, Campbell recited these words from a Cat Stevens' song :
"But take your time, think a lot
Why think of everything you got
For you will be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not"
What is tough love? Is tough love really about being tough? When is a time that you felt that tough love was needed ? These are the questions our family group discussed to explore the topic of "tough love".
Loving someone with an addiction can sometimes be tough, but it's still love. It requires taking action to avoid protecting or rescuing them from consequences of their choices. The toughest part of this kind of love is be courageous enough to set limits and boundaries on bad behaviors that have put a strain on the family relationships.
The goal is to bring about change in a firm, but loving way, while focusing on providing yourself, and all family members, with a healthy, safe environment that promotes responsible behavior.
"Tough Love" is really about courage. As the Serenity Prayer says:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Be Courageous!
Amber Hollingworth, a Master Addiction Counselor from Hope for Families, presented an engaging lecture which addressed some of the underlying conditions that make a person more vulnerable to developing an addiction. From the brain perspective, there is the down regulation of several important brain chemicals(endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin) and people often use substances to make up for these deficits in neurochemicals, especially when they experience some sudden loss, like death, divorce, major injury, loss of dream, etc. The substance abuse often progresses to addiction, where disconnections with others often follow. Without connection, the disease will continue to progress as all humans are made to connect with each other.
In treatment, the best way to help heal these deficits is to help clients reconnect with others. With new, positive connections, the brain chemicals naturally begin to rebalance making it easier for the individual to address their depression, anxiety, trauma, ADD, or grief. Addressing these things helps to jump start and strengthen the recovery process and maintain sobriety. Luckily, when people engage in recovery programs, support groups, and treatment, this natural process almost immediately begins to help heal the brain. The connection to others is a major change factor! Thus the reason that addiction treatment centers around group therapy and 12-step meeting attendance. It is the process of engaging in these groups that is healing the client.
Amber also provided a different perspective on “tough love.” Instead of pushing the person out of their lives until they “learn their lesson,” she showed how healthy connection is more effective in supporting change. It is true that sometimes family and friends need to distance themselves for their own emotional safety, but the idea of instituting a withdrawal of love as a technique that would make the addict get clean simply doesn’t work.
