"Those Who Are Free of Resentment Thoughts, Surely Find Peace" Buddha
Last week, the Purple Family Group continued the discussion of practicing effective communication. Good communication starts with listening, not listening for the purpose of giving advice, but simply listening. Harboring resentments can also negatively impact effective communication. Resentment is perhaps the most significant emotion in addiction and recovery. The families of addicts often feel resentment toward the addict for causing them to have so many bad experiences and emotions. Several family members shared some of their own personal resentments that are common to most family situations- anger, being lied to, manipulation, stealing, and financial strain were some examples.
What is the effect of harboring these resentments? Resentment can block a healthy relationship, swallow up our efforts to grow, and rob us of the freedom from blame and guilt that is necessary for recovery. In fact, AA considers resentment “the number one offender” and working the 12 steps is a means of overcoming it.
So how do we overcome resentments? You must learn to let go of resentments- not for the person who hurt you or anyone else, but for yourself. Holding on to resentment gives the power to another person. With resentment, doors remain closed. Letting go of them, opens the door for acceptance, better communication, and for a more positive future. By giving up resentments, you can create a new way to live and allow yourself to reclaim responsibility for your own fate.
What tool do those in recovery use to let go of resentment? One tool used to let go of resentment is to pray for the person, for their health, happiness and prosperity. Pray that they may have all in their life that you wish for in your own. Pray this for two weeks or until you can see the person without having that feeling in your gut.
Today,strive to let go of a resentment that is holding you back.